I need to get over the fact that I will always look like this minus the large ta tas. Just the way it is and I need to start caring about more important things. This is a blogfailllllll. I thought writing everything down would make me feel more alert about what I was eating, you know- keep me on track. NOPE. It just made me think about eating even more. I guess this works for some people, but for me I just need to listen to my body and make good decisions and  ultimately eat what I want to eat. I wish this wasn’t something I struggled with everyday. But honestly, being overweight (I’m not technically overweight- but a few pounds heavier than I have been before) makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable. My squishy thighs stick together in the heat, my jeans rub in weird places, shirts rise and I’m actually SCARED of being fat and unhealthy. I’m afraid of what being slightly heavy could turn into. Will I go off the deep end? I know I could never let it- but not being able to exercise as I want/need to is very depressing. I think I’d be so much less anxious and stressed out if I felt comfortable in my skin. I just don’t, and I need to learn how to so I can be happy. There are more important things in life.  

HMMPHHH

I need to get over the fact that I will always look like this minus the large ta tas. Just the way it is and I need to start caring about more important things. This is a blogfailllllll. I thought writing everything down would make me feel more alert about what I was eating, you know- keep me on track. NOPE. It just made me think about eating even more. I guess this works for some people, but for me I just need to listen to my body and make good decisions and  ultimately eat what I want to eat. I wish this wasn’t something I struggled with everyday. But honestly, being overweight (I’m not technically overweight- but a few pounds heavier than I have been before) makes me feel REALLY uncomfortable. My squishy thighs stick together in the heat, my jeans rub in weird places, shirts rise and I’m actually SCARED of being fat and unhealthy. I’m afraid of what being slightly heavy could turn into. Will I go off the deep end? I know I could never let it- but not being able to exercise as I want/need to is very depressing. I think I’d be so much less anxious and stressed out if I felt comfortable in my skin. I just don’t, and I need to learn how to so I can be happy. There are more important things in life.  

HMMPHHH


Brunchishness 8.7.10

I had a the most yummy whole wheat/flax seed bagel with goat cheese spread with sliced cucumbers and avocado. MMMMM. <3 Heaven. The avocado was even delicious (the east coast avos typically suck). I think it must be because they were from Mexico vs. Puerto Rico.


B/L/D 8.6.10

B= I SLEPT THROUGH IT!

L= 1 piece of whole wheat toast with 1/2 serving of pb w/ banana and orange

Snack= carrots w/ garlicky hummus and some frozen berries

Dinner= on-the-go (for either Shakespeare on the Common or Free Friday Flick) baggie salad w/ cucumbers, grape tomatoes, goat cheese, and an itty bit of balsamic and a pink lady apple :)


B/L 8.5.10

B= bowl of Special K/Cup of black coffee

L= Light turkey sandwich on whole wheat w/ veggies, small pear, rice krispie treat (oops).

BUT I have come to the realization that I really need to get my sugar/dairy intake in check if I want to maintain my weight/feel good/debloat/be happy. 

THEREFOR, until next Wednesday I am detoxing. I did it middle of freshman year and felt wonderful after. It’ll force me to drink more liquids (I HATE liquid b/c of my itty bitty bladder) and quit sugar snacking. 

That means:

B= 1 serving of carby CARB (whole wheat toast/cereal etc.), DAIRY, FRUIT, caffeine.

L= VEGGIES and FRUIT (but not TOO much fruit, gotta watch the sugar), lean PROTEIN, lighter caffeine. 

D= VEGGIES and lean PROTEIN and so much water. 

Hopefully this will give me a boost so I won’t have to worry about wha tI eat when I go home with the bf next week. 


First PT appointment:

Was SO painful. And in the most janky office ever (OMG the rain right now! They are HUGE drops. WTH!?) I feel reenergized though and feel like they could probably help me even though they don’t quite seem to know that much. (OMG really, the rain). Overall I fel better. 


D 8.4.10

SO MANY GREEN BEANS and few turkey meatballs. How thrilling. 


B/L 8.4.10

B= Reduced fat berry coffee cake/tall Starbucks coffee. DH was closed- my plan for english muffin with pb was foiled!

L= Was a little late- just ate a soggy microwaved pizza from TJs and a bowl of special K. I think I’m gunna have to sit dinner out. I won’t even notice anyway because I need a nap (I didn’t sleep much last night on the account of the fact that my suitemate’s bf peed on my door and it trickled into my bedroom/he walked into my room while I was asleep and scared the bejesus out of me) and I have an interview at 7:30 and SYTYCD is on after that. 

Food regret. I need to get back on track. PT starts tomorrow at 2pm so that hopefully will inspire me. 


D 8.3.10

Whole wheat spaghetti w/turkey meatballs and green beans. Nom. 


B/L 8.3.10

FINALLY slept in past 8am! Hooray! for breakfast I have some Special K (the one with the yogurt berry clusters) per usual. I think I typically eat 2 of what they have determined ot be the serving size. I’m fine with that though- gurl gotta get her energy on!

For lunch I walked down to the Panera Bread by Long Wharf to grab a yummy sandwich. I got the Mediterranean Veggie sandwich with an apple instead of chips. I brought the bagged lunch over to the cute little park in the middle of the financial district where there were two guitarists playing quaint city tunes for the business people on their lunch breaks. They even had these little squishy chair cushions to sit on so you didn’t get your bum wet. It was so pleasant.

BUT OMG the food was so good. I think Panera may be my new obsession. For one thing, they are oober efficient. Two, the bread was moist, the ingredients were fresh/plentiful and my apple tasted so deliciously floral I swore I had a bouquet of sweet lilac in my mouth. 

What lovely afternoon. :)


8.2.10

You don’t even want to know what I ate yesterday.